Being stuck in the house all day on the other side of the world has its upsides. One of which is to engage in the local current affairs. In CA, it is about legalizing Same-Sex Marriage. Brad Pitt is in favor of it – he donated $100,000 (USD) to fight gay marriage ban (for reference google it yourself). Now, I don’t know about you, but I personally would not use a celebrity’s action as a basis to form an opinion. No offense, Mr Brad Pitt, on the extremely remote chance that you are reading this, I am not saying that your opinion has no merit or that you are extremely stupid. And no offense to all celebrities out there (or anyone who is affiliated with them) who are reading this – I am not saying you are stupid or silly or anything along those lines. If your arguments have merits then rest assured that someone smart out there would take them into account.
The issue is more or less like this – in a country where freedom is put over and above everything else (remember, this is the country that would fight for freedom and spend billions of dollars fighting for someone else’s freedom, even when that “someone else” is not its citizens), two people who are in love, irrespective of their sexual orientation, and are expressing their life-long commitment should be recognized in the eyes of the law. Sure we may have come a long was towards fighting for social recognition and acceptance and still the battle may not have been won – in the sense that in this day and age, there is always the freedom to do whatever one pleases with one’s life, and subsequently, the society as a whole learns to respect these personal choices and passes little, if any, judgment on any individual and their choices in life. It does not mean that they accept it; it just means they are deliberately turning a blind eye by not causing any trouble for anyone who is involved. This is perhaps similar to not caring at all: you do whatever you want with your life and I would do whatever I want with mine, we don’t say anything with regards to our respective choices and we don’t pass on any judgment whatsoever because we respect each other’s right to choose.
So with that frame of mind, why not allow same-sex people to be legally married. Since there are a lot of these people who are currently on a de-facto relationship and would love to be legally married for whatever reason there is. Beside, these people are raising children anyway, so why not allow them to be a part of this institution called marriage.
Let’s define a couple of things, so that we can agree on the use of terms.
1. The institution of marriage
A marriage is a union, usually characterized by the following: close, intimate, voluntary, life-long, between two-people only, usually of the opposite sex. Some may argue that a marriage can be involuntary, as in the case of arranged marriages. Some may argue that a marriage is not necessarily life-long, especially in this day and age as evidenced by the high rate of divorce. I am not an expert on marriage so I am not going to comment on these things. To keep things simple lets just say that when the word marriage is used, it usually denotes a close and intimate union between a man and a woman who are in love and voluntarily want to devote their lives to each other for the rest of their lives. A marriage is almost like a natural progression of a romantic relationship, usually followed by having children.
2. The need for law (and legalization)
Basically, we have laws in our society mostly to preserve order, or if you don’t like the term, to prevent chaos. In a way, it is like laying down the standards of acceptable behavior, and formalizing what is wrong and what is right – most of which people should already know anyway, but may forget at times. Further, when enforced properly, the law should deter future offenders because there are penalties attached to breaking the law.
(I can dwell on forever on this point but I am not going to. I think the above paragraph should be sufficient for this purpose. Law professors who are reading this can engage me in a more intellectual discussion of the purpose of law and legalization of standards of behavior with me – just email me.)
Laws are generally man-made. Some may say that this is not necessarily true, as in the case of religious laws (although this point is of course arguable). Understandably, there is a lengthy process involved in setting the law – and this would entail a discussion of what is right and what is wrong. And as anyone would appreciate, what is right and what is wrong may not be so clear cut, especially where different individuals are concerned. After all, we live in a multi-cultural, multi-religious society. What is regarded as acceptable in one culture/religion may not be so in another. As a response, the state and culture/religion are separated, at least in the
There is an intimacy side to marriage, and in particular, an emotional intimacy – and the value of this intimacy is increasingly being recognized by the society, at least here in the US of A. Marriage is no longer just about a license to have sex – because we are already engaging in sexual activities with a person we are not married to (lets just be frank here ok – and if you don’t want to openly admit it, that’s fine, just don’t judge those who are admitting it openly). Marriage is also not about having children – because a lot of people out there have children before they are married and some are raising children as single parents. Neither is marriage a way to access benefits – because couples in de-facto relationships get more or less the same benefits as married couples. For the same reason, marriage is also not about getting social recognition.
With this issue, independent of any traditional, religious and/or cultural values, the notion of marriage has been challenged to a whole new level. Marriage has become something that is largely personal and internal – it is about an emotional intimacy that may not be attainable through other means. And subsequently, it is natural for two people who are in love and have been in a romantic relationship for some time to want to get married. At least, this is the argument put forward by those who want to legalize Same-Sex Marriages.
In addition to the above challenge, the purpose of law has also been challenged to a new level. In a society that is continuously evolving, it almost seems natural to ensure that the law is in-line with these changes, or at least, not contradictory. And in some ways, this is understandable: to continue to preserve order, the laws must be flexible yet firm at the same time. Flexible in the sense that it adapts to the change of time. Firm in the sense that it works effectively to preserve order and prevent chaos. Lets face it, a lot of things that are acceptable in this day and age may not have been acceptable 10, 20, 30 years ago.
Yet is that really the purpose of the law. Is adapting to changes, even when those changes are not necessarily good for the society as a whole, the real purpose of the law? Sure the law needs to be flexible, but how flexible. And should the law give in to the pressures of society, even when its merits are questionable? Does “everyone does it anyway” a good enough reason to legalize something?
I have many questions on the subject and very little opinion (if not none at all) at this point in time. I wonder if the law should be there to preserve some ideals, not just succumbing to pressures by society, disguised as “natural progression of things”. I wonder if there is going to be anyone (who is an expert, although not necessarily authoritative) who is going to come up and say that the law needs to preserve what the institution of marriage is originally intended for (whatever that intention may be).
If any same-sex couples and/or homosexuals are raeading this, please don’t take it personally – because I am not saying that Same-Sex Marriage cannot be legalized. Nor am I saying that it should be legalized. I am merely questioning certain issues – and I certainly do not wish to offend anybody in the process. I realize that the concept of legalizing anything is complex and requires extensive consideration, research and studies, discussions and debates and anything else that is necessary to arrive to such conclusion.
